Week 1 (Jan 2nd-9th):

Disconnecting to connect. Going back to basics, nature, and the simple life before social media.

I am trying to remember my life before checking Facebook first thing in the morning, at lunch-time, at the office,  or last thing before bed-time.  I could not remember those days clearly and  I needed to remember.  

At first I felt instantly more peaceful but soon came the withdrawal symptoms. An emptiness that I could not ignore. How would I fill this emptiness I wondered. 

In the first week of the new-year, I  was proud of myself for doing my Tai- Chi practice and meditation early in the morning. I also enjoyed the quality time spent with family and friends without looking at my phone as often. I still used my phone but without Facebook, the frequency decreased significantly.

Back at work, I drank my morning Chai Masala (some may be familiar with the sugar filled Karak tea/which is my other addiction but I’ll save that for another post :)) and worked on my project proposal without interruptions.  I was so focused, I finished that proposal before the deadline I had set for myself. 

Weekend again, was spent with family, notification free, and more peaceful than it’s ever been. I watched a movie at home which I never had time to do as I am usually out and about or when home, on Facebook. My interaction with my environment had changed, it was quieter, deeper, and more spacious.

Through out the following weeks, I often found myself in situations like:

being in an elevator full of people

waiting for a class to start at the gym

siting in a coffee shop

and in all the above public shared spaces people were staring into their phone. I wondered what had happened to the culture of smiling and saying hello in an elevator, the courtesy of introducing yourself and meeting people attending the same classes at the gym, and the spontaneous mingling that might happen when visiting a coffee shop. It has become brave of a person to be sitting in a public space and not be occupied by their phone, laptop, or shisha (in the case of some of us here in Dubai :)).

Could we be missing out on the world before our eyes by holding onto our devices rather than, having a reflective moment alone, observing or interacting with the environment we are in. As we are choosing to interact with screens more than ever in human history, whether it is for virtual entertainment or for practical reasons, are we losing our selves and losing the richness of the present moment?

This is where the struggle lies. Do we give in to the easy, fast, and entertaining past-time/escape OR do we find other more productive avenues to pour our attention and focus into? The latter may be harder and require more searching, discipline, and rigorous honesty with ourselves (tuff stuff). A lot of times, not escaping, means we get to experience our heavier feelings to the fullest. This can be scary and uncomfortable and we want immediate comfort, immediate rewards, immediate answers and so end up losing the essential ingredients (patience and perseverance) which precede all worthy goals, relationships, and accomplishments.

Stay posted for more on facing the scary dark world of feeling our not-so-pretty feelings without running away or distracting ourselves with social media or any other form of quick fix in the next post!

Rawan

Salam folks! I am back on Facebook for the time-being. Some of you have inquired as to where my Facebook page disappeared or why, while others have not even noticed. Honestly, it is the healthiest that some of you may not care about my Facebook presence (if you can call it that), hahaha. Facebook presence is a fake presence and my intentional 4o day experiment only confirmed that.

 

How the Decision to Take a Break from Facebook Came About

In late 2016, I watched a you-tube talk by Simon Sinek (Millenials in the Work Place) that resonated with me on many levels. I have posted the link below for your reference. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hER0Qp6QJNU

I basically wanted to explore some of the points Sinek made that resonated the most. For your information,  I have been an avid facebook user, so this experiment may or may not change that. After reflection, the truths that hit me like a ton of bricks were:

a) how addictive social  media and constant virtual noise can be

b) how it is has rapidly changed our society and the way we humans connect or appear to connect  (failing to connect) and

c) how distracting it is from real life (the reality in front of our eyes). In addition , we have  all experienced (at least occasionally) the high (instant gratification) from receiving likes/shares/comments on content we have identified ourselves with and the low from lack of.

Even though I am not part of that generation of Millennials, I definitely got myself addicted to Facebook, the social media platform I enjoy the most out of the lot.  What do you think of the virtual world? Is on-line connection healthy? It does have numerous advantages. Do you feel the advantages are worth it? Do you need to put some limits on its access for yourself? your kids? Your partner? Your peace of mind? or is unlimited access working well for you?

Life has been teaching me, when a positive thing spins out of control and the negatives begin out-weighing the positives, it usually means it is time to to put some boundaries in place. Therefore, my 2017 boundary (I prefer that word over resolution-as resolutions have failed in the past so am trying the boundary system:)) was the following:

For 40 days, to simply deactivate my Facebook account (from January 2nd to February 12th). Simple right? Do-able? Definitely. Sustainable? Not so sure.

Little did I know, that the main theme of the whole month and ten days would turn out to be all about boundaries! Including using my power and taking it back from the external world where I willingly gave it away. When things go out of balance in your life, it could mean that you are giving up a part of your power to outside influences. What are some outer-influences you have given over your power to? It can be literally anything! An idea, a thought, a job, an emotion, all forms of addiction, a person, a boss, a group, a philosophy, a belief system, etc…

I skyped with my friend Aude about this matter shortly before making my decision . Being a more disciplined type, Aude said to me , “Rawan, it is not very clever what you are doing (spending a lot of time) on Facebook.”  Lol:)

Right on!! Merci beaucoup Aude!  Still, I do not think I can cut it out cold turkey yet, or ever, and am not making promises I can’t keep.

I do hope that the series of posts: 40 Days without Facebook at least gets you thinking about your own experiences with social media, your personal power, and the choices you make everyday as you log on-line and log off your life.

Keep checking this space for more updates on my Facebook-less experiences! 🙂

Rawan